Remembering YOU By: Anise Marshall
Ever feel like you’ve started to lose your identity because you’re so caught up in life? Everyone comes before you and there is just not enough time in the day to get things done. Once the weekend comes, you realize that your life couldn’t be anymore hectic. BREATHE. It gets BETTER. Let me tell you again, IT-GETS-BETTER!
One of the best things you can do for yourself as a mother, whether you stay at home, work part time or full time, is find YOU. Being caught up in your life as a spouse, mother, employee, coach and chef but, not wearing the hat of YOU can be taxing. Although all of those hats merely speak of the roles you play, I bet you didn’t notice that the hat of self-love is nowhere to be found here. Self-love is the best hat you can wear. Why? Because without it, those other hats you wear wouldn’t be 100% effective. If you’re like me, you want to give 100% to things that matter to you. As we discussed in our January article, making time for yourself when being a mother is critical. We start to break down, cry, have constant headaches and crumble at the thought of life because there is just too much happening and the most important thing that’s disappearing is YOU.
I’ve been blessed to have incredible women in my life who make me better. One, my best friend Dr. Verletta Saxon, brings out the best in me. She is patient and straight to the point. Erica Perry, who is like a sister to me, is in the process of starting her business for life coaching. She asks me the questions I never thought I needed to ask myself as a mom, wife, daughter and friend. She has me face problems head on and gives me the tools to walk through my issues on my own. When I didn’t have tools like this, my breakdowns were frequent and not so far in between. Everyone around me suffered when I felt low. They didn’t know how to approach me or even talk to me. My best friend Catrina, ALWAYS makes me laugh. When I'm going through a tough time, she listens and urges me to move on. Not to say my problem isn't worth it, but to let me know that I don't need to put anymore energy there. We usually finish our conversations with uncontrollable laughter and probably reference songs that have nothing to do with what we're talking about but it makes me so happy. My husband, my very best friend, reminds me that I need to be served sometimes, instead of always trying to serve others. He makes me laugh and knows that, if he wants to have his wife back to normal, he should probably take the kids for a walk and stay away from my bedroom door for a couple of hours! hahaa
One of the most important things to me is my faith and helping others know their worth. I know God can do things for me, but sometimes I would feel so overwhelmed. I would think He couldn’t even help me and how could I help others if I didn’t feel important to ME? It wasn’t until I started to get help from my closest friends, that I realized that I had lost me…and along with me, was my FAITH and purpose. I decided that working on me had to be a priority and that meant the renewal of my faith. That was the first step in finding myself. Why? Because it is a part of my identity.
What is yours? You may not be a spiritual person and faith may not be most important to you, but what is? What makes you, YOU? Is it a hidden thing that you loved but you put to the side because life didn’t make it priority? Singing, crafts, starting a business, empowering others or doing hair? What makes you, YOU? I encourage you to find your purpose and make that hat a priority. Life will become so much better. I also encourage you to keep people around you who want you to keep your identity as YOU. Keep people around you who will motivate and influence you to be the best version of yourself.
Give 100% and invest in YOU. Be like the tree planted beside the water. Your roots are strong! (scripture to reference: Jeremiah 17:8)